Almost five months ago, we welcomed a toy poodle puppy into our family. At the time, he was just two months old, but from the very beginning, he’s taken me on a journey I didn’t anticipate. How is it that this little guy, who isn’t even a year old, could teach me so much without even having the ability to talk. So I figured, why not share some of the wisdom I’ve obtained in a post series I call “The sh*t my puppy taught me,”
Here’s a lesson I learned almost immediately from Zack:
Just because you don’t see it, if you stop and observe your surroundings, you’ll quickly realize there’s sh*t all around us!
No one, including me, wants to step in it. Unfortunately, there’s some dog owners who don’t even bother to pick it up. I’ve come across my fair share of poo on our daily walks,and some of it is huge, and I wonder how could the owner leave that behind!? But in life, how many people leave there mess behind for others to clean up. Yes, over time, the rain might wash it away, or maybe it’ll work as some type of fertilizer, but if only everybody cleaned up after their sh#t, would we all have todo with less mess? That’s something to think about. Thanks for the lesson, Zack!
I know I’ve been MIA and have been negligent in chronicling my journey. A good bulk of my attention has been going to my Mommy’s Baby Steps page and my daughter’s flourishing YouTube channel. But I’ve prolonged my personal journey for long enough, and I’m back! Not only am I excited about it, but my seven year old is too! Just a couple of weeks ago, she cheered and gave me a huge hug, “Your podcast got approved! This is so exciting, Mommy! Maybe I can be a special guest one day!” I really enjoy helping my daughter put together videos for her YouTube channel, but I’ve been wanting to do something for myself too for quite some time. I’ve been hesitant about putting together my own YouTube channel because out of nervousness and just having all eyes on me, so the next best thing is a podcast. After months of talking about it, my best friend and I decided to dive into together.
Tanya, the nice one!
Our podcast is called Nice, Naughty and Forty? I’m the “nice one.” I’ve been married to a great guy for nearly ten years and have a sweet seven year old daughter. I struggled with being shy and passive well into young adulthood, but becoming a mother and entering my 40s have both helped me to be more outgoing and assertive. I love helping others. Random acts of kindness for my family, friends and even people I don’t know gives me pleasure. I’m far from perfect, but I’m always looking for ways to be a better version of myself. Wondering about my “naughty” side? A small “glimpse” peeks through on occasion. As a young teen through my college years it was rapping, nothing ratchet but not “Mickey Mouse” rap either. I was told that I went from David Banner to Incredible Hulk when I was in my rap mode. In my 40s, that aggressive “naughty side” comes out with kickboxing. Some of my fit fam members say I’m nice, but they see that beast come out when the bag round starts and know to get out of my way 😅.
Michelle, the naughty one!
Michelle is the naughty one. She’s a mother of two handsome, smart and respectful sons. She’s been divorced now for two years and struggling with this new dating scene. She hasn’t dated since the 90s, lol. Michelle works for the City of Philadelphia, as a Business Services Manager. She loves everything about fashion; to be fashionable you do not have to be dripping in designer digs. She loves the details, accessories are everything and change your entire look. Michelle loves life and everything about it; you must take the downs to make it to the ups 😉.
Though I love being a mom and blogging about that journey, I’m looking forward to having a platform with my best friend, Michelle to discuss topics on being nice, naughty and forty! We’ll be dishing on relatable topics and hope to get some insight from you too! You don’t have to be in your forties to listen to and enjoy the podcast or participate in our group. We’re all in this together and look forward to interacting with all ages and getting to know your perspectives 😉.
We’re on Amazon Music, Apple Podcast and Spotify too. You can also listen directly from our website. Spread the word! Thanks for your support. Please share, join our Facebook group, Nice, Naughty and Forty, and follow us on Instagram @nice.naughty.40
I recently found out that in this year, 2020, many locations will see a rare solstice annular solar eclipse on the same day as the June solstice. What made it even more interesting is that it will happen only twice this century, this year and on June 21, 2039.
In stumbling upon this information, it made me think about how posting to my original blog about my personal journey has truly been a rare occurrence. When I became a mother seven years ago and started a blog, “Mommy’s Baby Steps” about my journey as a mother, I forgot about some other aspects of my life that are just as essential, my journey as a woman, wife, sister, friend, professor and just a human trying to be the best version of myself with each day I’m given.
While I do plan on maintaining my blog about my journey as a mother, I am intent on shining more light on the different aspects of my life that are taking me on so many adventures. Looking forward to learning more about me while possibly helping others by sharing all that I’m discovering about myself on my journey.
“Rain, rain go away! Come again some other day!” A nursery rhyme I’ve sung on many occasions. Rain ruins plans for picnics, baseball games, outdoor weddings, etc. Rain can reign over our plans for the weekend like it is doing in the Philadelphia, PA area currently. But instead of focusing on how rain can put a damper on the weekend, let’s try to focus on the positive side of the rain.
At least it’s rain and not more snow.
Rain will help to wash away any remaining snow.
It is great for those spring flowers that will be blossoming soon.
Without rain, we just might have a water shortage.
Rainy days make great indoor movie or game time with family or friends
You get a free car wash.
Rain gives us a chance to use that nice raincoat, umbrella or pair of galoshes we purchased.
You’re never too old to run in the rain and splash in the puddles with that nice raincoat, umbrella or pair of galoshes.
The rain allows you to have a greater appreciation for the sunshine.
You just might see a rainbow once the rain has ended.
Are rainy days already reigning over your plans? Hopefully one of my reasons will help to make your day a little brighter in spite of the rain.
Single moments can forever change our lives. Do you recall times of just wishing you could change the last few minutes leading up to that trivial decision? Just a few days ago, I received some disturbing news which made me think about how our split second decisions can impact the course of our lives.
A young woman and former student I mentored for two years was on the front page of a newspaper for allegedly shooting at the father of her one year old child while he was holding the baby. Neither of them were injured, yet this is a very serious crime. Of course, I do not know the circumstances surrounding this event which could have ended far more tragically, but I do know that this decision which was acted out in a matter of seconds will forever change her life and the lives of those involved directly and indirectly.
Even though I was mainly her mentor while she was enrolled at the college, she was always respectful and sweet towards me, and stayed in contact after she left the college. What pushed her to this point? I wonder if there’s something more that I could have done to offer guidance or support. What if I took a few more seconds out of my day to reach out to her? Would her decision had been different? People get so busy with their lives, including me from time to time. As much as I make an effort to be there for others, there usually is someone who may be going through a difficult time, yet I was negligent in making the time to even be aware that they needed my support.
Sometimes, the decisions we make or choose not to make do not allow for second chances. It only takes a few seconds to change the course of not just our lives but the lives of others for better or for worst. Regardless of the outcome, I am hopeful that she will learn and grow in a positive way from this experience and will not allow her split second decision to dictate the course of the rest of her life.
From Duck! Rabbit! by Amy Krouse Rosenthal. illustrations by Tom Lichtenheld
Not long ago, I attended a workshop where the presenter displayed a picture of what appeared to be a duck to some and a rabbit to others. Though he said there was no right or wrong answer, I still wonder why I saw the rabbit first? Today, I read a passage in my Taoism book about how there are no objective viewpoints because our perceptions always get in the way. This is very true because I’ve learned that my perception has the power to dictate the direction in which I am headed or not headed.
When I was a child and into early adulthood, I struggled with low self-esteem and simply felt isolated. Often, I convinced myself that I was not good enough and allowed my own perceptions to control me and how I interacted with people.
Getting beyond my negative perceptions of myself, some of which sadly were perpetuated by others, was a major hurdle to overcome. Clearly, my perceptions impacted my actions and reactions. If I said I am overwhelmed, I felt overwhelmed. If I believed no one liked me, no one liked me. If I thought I would not achieve a goal, I would not achieve the goal, and if I did, then it was luck. A little over a decade ago, I became more cognizant of my thoughts and perceptions. Instead of looking at a situation and feeling defeated, I came up with motivational affirmations and focused on the positive aspects of my life and life in general to keep me moving forward. This is a practice I still employ today.
Sometimes I wonder what my life would look like if I figured out the power of believing what I perceived years ago. How many more achievements would I have? How many more lives could I have impacted in a positive way? Then I realize that I am missing the point and should just be in this moment enjoying all of the many blessings in my life. No, my life is not “perfect,” but I am so grateful for the life I have. We all are given the opportunity to create our own perceptions, and I have chosen to perceive my life as wonderful. What do you believe about yours? Do you see the rabbit or the duck?
“I’ll get there when I get there,” people utter. Students protest, “I was only five, fifteen, thirty minutes late.” “Yes, your car should have been ready by 1:00 pm, but we’re backed up, so it’ll be more like 5:00 pm,” is what I was told just yesterday after waiting since 11:00 am with my baby girl whose patience was wearing thin (not to mention my patience). Some people must truly live by the phrase “Better late than never,” but I, in most cases, absolutely deplore it.
Of course, we may all run late once in a while, but more and more people, at least in the tri-state area of Philadelphia, PA, have no regard for people’s time and see being habitually late as just a part of life. Admittedly, I am one of those type A personalities who tends to show up early to events to ensure that I am not late, so this could attribute to my lack of tolerance for lateness. But it is also because I value and respect people’s time. I wish there was a way for people who have no problem with regularly being late to see how their actions negatively impact others.
Let’s consider if that cliche phrase “Better late than never” is always applicable. Being late involves more than just annoying or inconveniencing the other person who is patiently waiting. Before you blow off being late and view it as no big deal, think about the domino effect it will have on those directly and indirectly involved.
All the best,
Tanya
PS. One of my biggest pet peeves is lateness, and this week, I’ve had quite a few issues with people being late and needed to vent a little. Thanks for reading.
Who hasn’t heard the phrase, “When opportunity knocks, answer the door?” or “When the door of opportunity opens, be ready to walk through it?” Not many people talk about what to do when the door is “technically” open yet frozen shut making it difficult to open. Well, I now have first-hand knowledge with this experience and can offer a couple of tips.
This past Tuesday, it not only snowed in Philadelphia, PA and the surrounding areas, but the temperature has been well below freezing throughout the course of this week. With this being said, even with keyless entry, my frozen car doors have not been opening with ease. So what do I do; most would answer, pull a little harder on the door handle. Initially, this may seem logical, but it is not always the best choice. I tugged a little harder, and the door did not budge, so I yanked a bit more forcibly. If you are heavy-handed like me, I definitely do not suggest this method as I managed to break off my rear door passenger handle pulling so hard. Needless to say, this upset me quite a bit. Why wasn’t I more patient? Why didn’t I ask someone for advice on what to do to open a frozen car door or look for a Youtube video on it? Though this is an experience I wish I didn’t have, I have been thinking about what I can learn from it.
Even when a door “should” be open, you need to be mindful of your own strength. If you break off the door handle, you will make it even more difficult to open that door of opportunity or may need to find another method to get to that opportunity.
Sometimes, when we are extremely passionate about something or allow it to consume us, (I would not rest until I got the door open instead of giving a few tugs then walking away) it may bring about unexpected problems and detours on the road to opportunity.
Don’t allow being ashamed if you break off the handle trying to open the door to deter you from opening other doors. Since I was younger, I’ve always been known as heavy-handed and as a bit of a klutz. I was so embarrassed when I broke off the handle and still am, but I am grateful it was not the driver side door nor the front passenger side door. Also,m I can still get to my destinations.
I am glad that I was able to take this experience and apply a life-lesson and hope that it may help others who are trying to open up those frozen doors.
“Only God can judge me! People are always hating! No one asked for your opinion! It’s my life!” are phrases most people have uttered or at least heard uttered at some point in their lives. Lately, I’ve been scrutinizing my own actions and think a trial is in order.
Though I try my best to be positive, supportive and motivational, there have been times when I’ve been accused of judging and wonder if those accusations were valid and if I should be concerned with being perceived as a judge. Needless to say, I am apprehensive about being a judge, but how can I live life without judging? Just about everything involves it; from grading papers to taking time to evaluate my own actions, I cannot escape it. Judging is one of the ways that we are able to improve ourselves and quality of life and to make sure we are on the right track.
I often wonder why it is acceptable and even welcomed when people are judged in a positive way such as a compliment about an outfit, hair, performance at work, parenting skills, etc.. Who ever stops people and questions why they are judging them when it is something positive? Of course, when people point out any flaws or shortcomings, most would dismiss them as unwelcome judgments and suggest that these people mind their own business.
When it comes to the justification of judging, I think it is always important to consider the intention of the person who is playing the role of the judge and the significance this person has on your life. Is the person trying to lift you up or tear you apart? Regardless if the judgment is negative or positive, is it being presented in a kind and caring way or cruel and insensitive?
It is important to consider if you are deflecting the real issue by focusing on this “so-called judge.” Why is it that whenever we are called out on something negative or counterproductive, like being procrastinators, habitually late or even harshly judging others with hurtful intentions, we are upset when somebody has the audacity to judge us? Why can’t it be that they love us and hold us accountable for our actions or to a higher standard than we may hold ourselves? If everyone only provided positive judgments, would simply relying on how we judge ourselves be adequate? Sometimes, how we judge ourselves and see ourselves is way off base, and we need those “judges,” who God may place in our lives, to hold up those mirrors and reflect back what we refuse to see is really there.
As I take some time to deliberate further, please feel free to share your views on this touchy topic.
While many people, especially those forty and under say, “Why do I need to know how to spell? I got spell check and auto correct,” I am trying to come up with ways to get students under my “spell” stressing the importance of not only spelling correctly but proofreading for often confused words and grammar issues as I prepare for the fall 2013 semester. It really can impact one’s ability to communicate clearly and effectively.
Of coarse, sum people take it fir granite that spell check will catch there miss stakes. Than they submit there resumes wit misspellings and wander why they don’t be gettin called in for intervues. They might be gud at wat dey do and have a grate work ethic, but the resume screener ain’t gonna get past the spelling issues cuz ain’t nobody got time fa that!
Even if you get the job u mite confuse costumers with ur mis spellings, text language and confused wurds like dis photo of da advertised posting i snapped looking to hire people at the local supermarket. We all know that auto core (this was supposed to say’ “auto correct,”but that is what auto correct came up with ;-)) don’t be always sayin wat we wanna say, so why not proofread? or is it that people be bein lazie and say, “u no wat i mean!”
Is spelling correct a dying art along with grammer, mechanics and basic proofreading as moor and more people simply except misspellings as da nu standard? Admittedly, I think its cool to use slang and text language cuz it is a language in and of itself, but the ability to cold switch, composing documents free of misspellings, grammar an mechanical errors for professional purposes or even to git ya point a cross clearly, is essential.
i refuse to believe that i am a loan wit dis concern and dat standard english and spelling words correctly will one day be considered archaic and that I will than be come a english historian providing in cite on wat once wuz. u kno wat i mean?
Best,
Tanya
PS. I hope you noticed the plethora of misspellings and grammer issues in dis post. Wich ones did u spot? Were there times wen u paused to figure out wat i meant cuz of the misspellings? Du i got u under my spell?
Journey of Anonomz 