Almost five months ago, we welcomed a toy poodle puppy into our family. At the time, he was just two months old, but from the very beginning, he’s taken me on a journey I didn’t anticipate. How is it that this little guy, who isn’t even a year old, could teach me so much without even having the ability to talk. So I figured, why not share some of the wisdom I’ve obtained in a post series I call “The sh*t my puppy taught me,”
Here’s a lesson I learned almost immediately from Zack:
Just because you don’t see it, if you stop and observe your surroundings, you’ll quickly realize there’s sh*t all around us!
No one, including me, wants to step in it. Unfortunately, there’s some dog owners who don’t even bother to pick it up. I’ve come across my fair share of poo on our daily walks,and some of it is huge, and I wonder how could the owner leave that behind!? But in life, how many people leave there mess behind for others to clean up. Yes, over time, the rain might wash it away, or maybe it’ll work as some type of fertilizer, but if only everybody cleaned up after their sh#t, would we all have todo with less mess? That’s something to think about. Thanks for the lesson, Zack!
I know I’ve been MIA and have been negligent in chronicling my journey. A good bulk of my attention has been going to my Mommy’s Baby Steps page and my daughter’s flourishing YouTube channel. But I’ve prolonged my personal journey for long enough, and I’m back! Not only am I excited about it, but my seven year old is too! Just a couple of weeks ago, she cheered and gave me a huge hug, “Your podcast got approved! This is so exciting, Mommy! Maybe I can be a special guest one day!” I really enjoy helping my daughter put together videos for her YouTube channel, but I’ve been wanting to do something for myself too for quite some time. I’ve been hesitant about putting together my own YouTube channel because out of nervousness and just having all eyes on me, so the next best thing is a podcast. After months of talking about it, my best friend and I decided to dive into together.
Tanya, the nice one!
Our podcast is called Nice, Naughty and Forty? I’m the “nice one.” I’ve been married to a great guy for nearly ten years and have a sweet seven year old daughter. I struggled with being shy and passive well into young adulthood, but becoming a mother and entering my 40s have both helped me to be more outgoing and assertive. I love helping others. Random acts of kindness for my family, friends and even people I don’t know gives me pleasure. I’m far from perfect, but I’m always looking for ways to be a better version of myself. Wondering about my “naughty” side? A small “glimpse” peeks through on occasion. As a young teen through my college years it was rapping, nothing ratchet but not “Mickey Mouse” rap either. I was told that I went from David Banner to Incredible Hulk when I was in my rap mode. In my 40s, that aggressive “naughty side” comes out with kickboxing. Some of my fit fam members say I’m nice, but they see that beast come out when the bag round starts and know to get out of my way 😅.
Michelle, the naughty one!
Michelle is the naughty one. She’s a mother of two handsome, smart and respectful sons. She’s been divorced now for two years and struggling with this new dating scene. She hasn’t dated since the 90s, lol. Michelle works for the City of Philadelphia, as a Business Services Manager. She loves everything about fashion; to be fashionable you do not have to be dripping in designer digs. She loves the details, accessories are everything and change your entire look. Michelle loves life and everything about it; you must take the downs to make it to the ups 😉.
Though I love being a mom and blogging about that journey, I’m looking forward to having a platform with my best friend, Michelle to discuss topics on being nice, naughty and forty! We’ll be dishing on relatable topics and hope to get some insight from you too! You don’t have to be in your forties to listen to and enjoy the podcast or participate in our group. We’re all in this together and look forward to interacting with all ages and getting to know your perspectives 😉.
We’re on Amazon Music, Apple Podcast and Spotify too. You can also listen directly from our website. Spread the word! Thanks for your support. Please share, join our Facebook group, Nice, Naughty and Forty, and follow us on Instagram @nice.naughty.40
The past month has been filled with hectic office hours and a deluge of research papers trying their best to overwhelm me. My ability to be stern yet empathetic has constantly been challenged by the plethora of excuses regarding late papers. Upon wanting to let out a deep sigh along with a grumble, I received a visit from a former student who was genuinely concerned when he heard I had broken a bone in my wrist recently. Though he did not earn an “A” in my course, he shared how he always left my class feeling like he actually learned something.
He was the first of quite a few visits and emails within the past couple of weeks from former and current students offering praise and appreciation for my teaching skills. As much as I do look forward to the summer break, I sincerely do love teaching and being able to have a positive impact on my students. My students have taught me that even when it may not seem like I am getting through to them, I am. The end of the semester three ring circus is worth it for all of my students as they keep me rejuvenated and looking forward to the semesters to come.
In life, things are not always as bad as they seem, but there are times when they are much worst. Not long ago, I posted an entry entitled, “Preparing for the Fall in the Winter” on how I sprained my wrist but did not allow it to get the best of me. A little over a month passed, and the pain was not subsiding. After having an MRI done, I found out that I actually broke a bone in the wrist of my dominant hand. This was a shock. As I mentally prepared for having to wear a cast, the doctor informed me that I had a scaphoid fracture through the proximal pole: an area that will not heal on its own. As a result, I had surgery done a few weeks ago where a 20 millimeter screw was put in my wrist along with having to wear a cast for a while.
Needless to say, this was upsetting. How could this little slip and fall and this little fracture cause me so much pain and aggravation? For a little while, I sulked and wondered why this happened to me and how I would be able to perform daily tasks, especially with a baby. But I did not stay in this place for long. Shortly after my surgery, I was watching a special on the Boston Marathon Bombing and how people were not only traumatized but lost limbs. Watching interviews of people remaining encouraged and determined put things into perspective for me. I decided that I was not going to allow this break to “break” me. So I’ve been making cast sleeves (which has been a lot of fun), drinking milk, eating healthy and being positive in my thoughts and actions. Some people say, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” I say, “When life gives you a broken bone and cast, rather than complain, get creative, have fun and decorate it.”
Waiting for the snow covered road to be plowed and cleared takes patience. Dealing with the plethora of potholes that follows the snow takes not only patience but skillful navigating and being circumspect. This year, in the city of Philadelphia and nearby areas the potholes seem insurmountable. Nevertheless, they do serve a genuine purpose.
Potholes force us to slow down and pay close attention to our surroundings. Sometimes, we’re driving along, and the car in front of us may swerve to avoid a pot hole. Not paying attention and failing to do the same could result in a blown out tire or even an accident. Going the speed limit is fine, but potholes force us to use common sense. If there are a series of potholes, switching lanes or decelerating is necessary if you do not want to ruin your shocks. These potholes represent more than just a nuisance; they are an analogy for those moments in life when we need to be attentive or risk sustaining damage to different aspects of our lives. When we are speeding along, they slow us down and give that jolt we need to keep going on.
Single moments can forever change our lives. Do you recall times of just wishing you could change the last few minutes leading up to that trivial decision? Just a few days ago, I received some disturbing news which made me think about how our split second decisions can impact the course of our lives.
A young woman and former student I mentored for two years was on the front page of a newspaper for allegedly shooting at the father of her one year old child while he was holding the baby. Neither of them were injured, yet this is a very serious crime. Of course, I do not know the circumstances surrounding this event which could have ended far more tragically, but I do know that this decision which was acted out in a matter of seconds will forever change her life and the lives of those involved directly and indirectly.
Even though I was mainly her mentor while she was enrolled at the college, she was always respectful and sweet towards me, and stayed in contact after she left the college. What pushed her to this point? I wonder if there’s something more that I could have done to offer guidance or support. What if I took a few more seconds out of my day to reach out to her? Would her decision had been different? People get so busy with their lives, including me from time to time. As much as I make an effort to be there for others, there usually is someone who may be going through a difficult time, yet I was negligent in making the time to even be aware that they needed my support.
Sometimes, the decisions we make or choose not to make do not allow for second chances. It only takes a few seconds to change the course of not just our lives but the lives of others for better or for worst. Regardless of the outcome, I am hopeful that she will learn and grow in a positive way from this experience and will not allow her split second decision to dictate the course of the rest of her life.
Most of us are excited when we purchase a new car or even a used car. We make sure it’s always polished and clean inside and out. The maintenance is done without delay, and we’re overly conscientious making sure there are no scratches or dings on its exterior. The car takes care of us, and we take care of it. As time goes by, however, regular wear and tear occurs, and no matter how much effort we put into maintaining our vehicles, problems, some unforeseen and some imminent, drive a wedge between us and the car we once loved.
I’ve had my present vehicle for a little over eight years and am grateful for all of the many places it’s allowed me to go. It took me on my interview at the college where I now work six years ago. It took me to the hospital to give birth to my daughter almost a year ago. Without it, I would have missed some of the best moments of my life. For a good while, I’ve been driving without a car note which has been wonderful. Unfortunately, within the past year, my car has had one problem after another causing me to put a substantial amount of money into it as though I’m paying a car note. Lately, I’ve begun to question if it is worth it and if I am better off getting a new vehicle.
The more I deliberate over this decision, the more I connect it to relationships. Most start off where everything is wonderful, just like a smooth ride. We’re happy, do what we need to do to maintain those relationships, yet regular wear and tear occurs. This is typically where some of us are ready to “trade in” the relationship while others are willing to invest a little more time since the relationship has had good moments. Then there are instances where some major problems occur that require much more than basic maintenance. Some problems may be so costly that they’re not even be worth fixing. Nevertheless, we hold onto some relationships for longer than we should because of the wonderful moments we had in the past, they are convenient, we’ve invested a lot of time or even money or we are just hesitant to start new ones. Of course, people are not cars and have more value, but I do wonder how many of us keep relationships going when so many issues in them are driving us away. I know I’m guilty of doing this. Are you?
From Duck! Rabbit! by Amy Krouse Rosenthal. illustrations by Tom Lichtenheld
Not long ago, I attended a workshop where the presenter displayed a picture of what appeared to be a duck to some and a rabbit to others. Though he said there was no right or wrong answer, I still wonder why I saw the rabbit first? Today, I read a passage in my Taoism book about how there are no objective viewpoints because our perceptions always get in the way. This is very true because I’ve learned that my perception has the power to dictate the direction in which I am headed or not headed.
When I was a child and into early adulthood, I struggled with low self-esteem and simply felt isolated. Often, I convinced myself that I was not good enough and allowed my own perceptions to control me and how I interacted with people.
Getting beyond my negative perceptions of myself, some of which sadly were perpetuated by others, was a major hurdle to overcome. Clearly, my perceptions impacted my actions and reactions. If I said I am overwhelmed, I felt overwhelmed. If I believed no one liked me, no one liked me. If I thought I would not achieve a goal, I would not achieve the goal, and if I did, then it was luck. A little over a decade ago, I became more cognizant of my thoughts and perceptions. Instead of looking at a situation and feeling defeated, I came up with motivational affirmations and focused on the positive aspects of my life and life in general to keep me moving forward. This is a practice I still employ today.
Sometimes I wonder what my life would look like if I figured out the power of believing what I perceived years ago. How many more achievements would I have? How many more lives could I have impacted in a positive way? Then I realize that I am missing the point and should just be in this moment enjoying all of the many blessings in my life. No, my life is not “perfect,” but I am so grateful for the life I have. We all are given the opportunity to create our own perceptions, and I have chosen to perceive my life as wonderful. What do you believe about yours? Do you see the rabbit or the duck?
Last week, I went to the Philadelphia Home Show excited to attend Ahmed Hassan’s presentation. He’s the former host of the hit show from the DIY Network, “Yard Crashers,” so I had a few questions about my yard and secretly hoped to be granted a free botanical masterpiece. Though no yard makeovers were given, he offered the audience something else, something special.
Ahmed passionately and candidly discussed what roads he took to get to where he is today. I found it to be quite admirable of him to disclose not only his triumphs but struggles with us prior to answering questions about landscaping or the excitement that comes with being a TV host. Listening to him made me feel like I am on the right path. Many people get so caught up in where they are in life, yet they may not know or even consider what it took to get there.
Even in knowing where we would like to end up, it’s tricky because some maps are still being drawn out as we carry out our journeys; there are hills, valleys and terrain yet to be discovered. As we come across them, we will eventually realize how they helped us get a littler closer to where we want to be, which is absolutely wonderful to me. As Ralph Waldo Emerson profoundly stated, “Life is a journey, not a destination.” Thanks Ahmed for reaffirming this for me.
Are you a shopaholic with tons of shoes and clothes in your closet worn once or not at all. Maybe you’re a therapy shopper who feels better after buying that $500 handbag. Me: I’m a shop-around-see-items-I-like-load-up-my-cart-then-drop it-off-and-not-purchase-one-thing-shopper (The abridged version: “shop and drop shopper”). Yes, it is a mouthful, but sadly, this is who I’ve become, and I just don’t know how to break the cycle.
It all started back in 2006/2007 when I stepped out on faith and left my full time job to follow my passion to teach college courses. Initially, I only had a part-time position and struggled to make ends meet. I’ve never been one to spend frivolously, but I learned how to be frugal and only purchase the absolute necessities. Now, seven years later with a stable position as a full-time professor, my indecisiveness while shopping has heightened for some reason, and I have such a difficult time even making basic purchases. It has become a joke for anyone who goes shopping with me. For example, I’ll select cute outfits, shoes, or items at the local Home Goods store, but by the time we are ready to go to the cashier, I have purged most of the items from my cart. My sister will laugh and say, “I knew you weren’t going to really buy anything,” and my husband will make fun of me for deliberating so long over making even a $10 purchase as I try to determine if I really should buy the item. “You can always return it,” he says. Even though I know this, I still had my latest shop and drop episode this past Friday.
It wouldn’t be so big of an issue if I didn’t shop for a while in a store, load up my cart with reasonably priced and sale priced items that could be considered necessities, not just “wants,” then put most of them back. Later on, I’ll give it some thought, return to the store and find out that the item I want has been purchased by someone else. I vow to work on this habit of shopping and dropping as I have let too many good deals slip through my fingers. If you have any advice, please feel free to share.
Journey of Anonomz 