“It’s been three weeks since you’ve been looking for your friend
The one you let hit it and never called you again
‘Member when he told you he was ’bout the Benjamin’s
You act like you ain’t hear him then gave him a little trim
To begin, how you think you really gon’ pretend
Like you wasn’t down then you called him again”
—Lauryn Hill, “Doo Wop (That Thing)”
Oftentimes, I hear both women and men utter disparaging remarks about the other in regard to behaviors and treatment and that they’re only after “one thing.” But do people acknowledge their own roles as enablers in the way they are being spoken to or treated. For example, some women will say guys are nothing but dogs. Even though I do not necessarily agree with that statement, let’s analyze it for a moment. If guys are dogs, there is no denying that they still come in different breeds and will require proper training based on their breed. Also, I ponder over why these very same women who claim that men are dogs allow these “dogs” to take them for walks instead of the other way around. They say, “A dog is always going to be a dog,” or “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Curiously, some women never stop these “dogs” who are “barking up the wrong tree” then seem so surprised when they receive ill treatment, are used or are only sought after for sex when the “dog” made his intentions clear from the beginning.
In honor of “Women’s History Month,” I would like to acknowledge an exceptional female lyricist and vocalist who is still revered by true followers of hip hop music. Even though people are still awaiting a follow-up CD to Lauryn Hill’s “Miseducation of Lauryn Hill,” she will always be one of the most powerful female rappers of the 90s. Even in 2011, many female artists aspire to have rhyming skills and a stage presence that she has.
In “Doo Wop (That Thing),” Lauryn Hill drops knowledge about a circumstance that occurs more frequently than most would like to admit: relationship misconceptions. When people enter relationships, the hope is that they will make their intentions known. Nevertheless, there are people who ignore the signs and pretend that they didn’t know what the “deal” was until everything starts to unravel. How can you make a person love you let alone like you when he (or she) has made it clear that he (or she) is only there to dog you or use you? Most people know that sleeping with a person is not the answer, yet they find themselves traveling down this route anyway then wondering how they ended up stranded on the highway of love and desertion.
Take heed to what people tell you and show you early on in a relationship rather than ignoring the signs; then you may be able to avoid heartbreak in the future. As Lauren Hill says, “You act like you ain’t hear him then gave him a little trim. To begin, how you think you really gon’ pretend. Like you wasn’t down then you called him again.” Too often do people, not just women, compromise their values, ethics and standards to be with this guy or girl who has made his or her intentions clear: a relationship with a rock solid foundation is not the objective with these people, so why think that is what you will receive? If you want more out of a relationship and want to be treated with a certain level of respect, you must first treat yourself with respect, and accept nothing less from those with whom you come in contact.
Women’s History Month is drawing to a close. Don’t let it go by without expressing yourself by paying homage to those women who have impacted you directly or indirectly.
Please feel free to share your thoughts
~Anonomz aka Tanya Harris
Bonus English Lesson:
Lauryn Hill abbreviates the word “remember” to “member” for dialectical and meter purposes.
Journey of Anonomz 
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