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My Life Resume: The Career Journey Decade One (From Age 0 – 10)

11 Oct

What do you think about as your birthday approaches?  Do you think about getting one year older?  Do you think about all of the hopes and dreams you have yet to accomplish.  Yes, I’m guilty of having those thoughts, but I also think about all that I have accomplished and the wisdom that I have attained as a result of getting older.  Presently, I am an English professor, and I enjoy teaching and playing a role in the successful careers of my students.  Also, I take pleasure in writing poetry and short short stories.  One day, I actually hope to publish a book and even a memoir.  So I thought why not use my birthday week to review my life resume by exploring where  I have been on my journey thus far?

The Career Journey: Decade One

Tanya Harris Franklin

Primary Grade School: By the time I was in second grade, I volunteered to help tutor the younger children.  Even though there was no monetary payment involved, I knew then that I wanted to be a teacher some day.

Primary to Secondary Grade School: From third grade until about sixth grade, I assisted my grandmother with the daily routines, such as setting up snacks, serving food and playing games with children at her family daycare.  During the summer, I was paid $25 a week when I was in third grade, and that was “good” money!

Middle School: Going to school was a necessity, but maintaining straight A’s and B’s was hard work at times. One of the incentives I received for doing well in school was a stipend from the White-Williams Scholar Foundation for $135 – $200 a month.  With each grade level, the amount of money increased.  My hard work was paying off.

What do you know??? I was already on the pathway to being a teacher at a very young age, but the second decade of my life definitely did present some alternative paths that I could have taken.  Do you ever think about how you ended up where you presently are?  Give it some thought. Please feel free to share.
Best regards,  Tanya H. Franklin

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Ten Things I’ve Got Planned for 2011: Two-thirds of the way through (January – August)

2 Aug

Tanya Harris' Vision Board1. Rome was not built in a day, and neither was the ideal body.  Therefore, I will keep working out four to five days a week to be nicely toned for the summer of 2011.
Since April, I’ve actually increased my workout regimen and have been using the “Perfect Sit-Up” six days a week and walking and jogging six to seven days a week with an average of three to four miles covered.  I attribute the Nike Plus program for keeping me motivated with different challenges where I compete with people nationally and nationally.  Also, the app “Lose it” has really helped me to keep track of my food intake to ensure that it is healthy and balanced.  I’ve also switched from the Women’s One a Day to the Active Women time release vitamin and have begun adding flaxseed and wheat germ to my meals to get more nutrients. 

2. My intellectual, spiritual and creative journey is essential for my well-being, and I will be sure to submit a blog entry at least once a week.  Stop by when you can to check out my new entries.
This is my 61st blog submission, and I am shooting for at least 100 entries by the end of the year and am confident that I will surpass my goal.  I’m presently at 1222 hits.  Maybe I’ll be able to clear 1500 by the end of the year!

3. I have many gifts, and writing poetry is one of them, so I will relentlessly assert myself to become synonymous with the spoken word and poetry slam circuit.  Who knows, I may complete enough poems to publish a chapbook or have some choice entries in major publications.
 Turns out that this summer has been just as busy as my winter in preparing for my tenure track project for this upcoming semester and my wedding, but I am steadily writing and jotting down ideas.  Check out some of my spoken word performances on You Tube.  You can find me under Anonomz.

4. People often say, “It’s a small world,” but many of us have yet to leave our own neighborhood, city, or state, let alone the country or continent for that matter.  I plan to travel more extensively this year and hope to visit outside of the country…perhaps for a destination wedding.  It is with great pleasure that I am able to say this goal will be met in this month as I get married in the Dominican Republic.

5. Everybody is busier than ever and cannot spare a moment for family and friends even though vast amounts of technology are supposed to help people get more done and have more time,.  I will make a more conscious effort to reach out to family and friends and demonstrate my appreciation and love for them the” Old fashioned” way: the occasional phone call, letters, visits and tokens of my appreciation.
It’s eight months later,  and I’ve learned the hard way that most people are so consumed with their own lives that they simply do not have time or do not want to make time for friends and family unless it’s a quick text or Facebook message with the empty promise of  “We’ll have to get together”uttered though it  is highly unlikely to occur.  The experience of reaching out to people and making an effort to reconnect and not having those actions reciprocated initially left me feeling sad and wondering, “Is it me?  Should I perceive the unreturned phone calls, regularly canceled lunch or dinner dates and emails personally?”  I understand the importance of family and friends so it’s upsetting to drift apart from people I care about.  Have those relationships have ran their course? Time will tell.  I’ll always have love for my family and friends whom I may only see or speak to infrequently, but I’ve decided to modify my current goal.  I need to channel my energy into those whom I spend time with and see regularly and let them know how much they are loved and appreciated, and maybe one day the others will have time to fit me in their schedules.

6. I love writing and refuse to die with my many stories being left untold; as a result, I will begin working on and brainstorming about  other literary ventures such as colorful stories and children’s book ideas and see where it takes me…maybe to the best seller’s list one day!
I love writing, and have been incorporating it into my everyday schedule which has actually been rather busy these past few months.  I have a gratitude journal and occasionally jot down ideas throughout the course of the day.  I also purchased a few books which I’ve been reading to help me with the writing process.  Even though I know this goal will more than likely span into the next couple of years in order to have a completed project, I am fully immersed in the process.

7. Health is necessary for longevity.  To continue  improving my financial, physical and spiritual health, I will conduct research and keep working on the economical game plan, exercise regularly and meditate , and read and apply spiritual and motivational literature on a frequent basis.
It’s difficult to save money when paying for the expenses incurred from a pending wedding, but I am happy to report that I am under budget and will be in a good place financially after the expenses of the wedding have been paid.  I have been exercising six to seven days a week, eating lots of fruits and vegetables and taking vitamin supplements.  I’ve also been doing more meditating to keep me balanced and relaxed and brain exercises to improve my mental acuity.  I’m also on my second set of lessons for Rosetta Stone’s Spanish courses and am enjoying the learning process.  I can honestly say that I feel great!  

8. “You should be an actor!” is what family, friends and even my students tell me.  I used to act when I was younger and loved being on stage, so I will explore my theatrical abilities by taking a college level acting class in the spring 2011 semester staring January 10.  It’s going to be interesting potentially being in class with some of my own students, but it will be fun I’m sure.
My acting class went extremely well, and I finished the course with an “A!”  I learned a great deal from the experience and would love to take another course.  For my final, I actually performed in a scene as a drunk southern belle which is totally out of character for me.  You can check out my scene on You Tube under Anonomz.

9. As a person who  has finicky eating habits, family and friends jokingly say, “A fancy restaurant for her is a place that serves pizza, chicken or turkey burgers.”  I enjoy fine dining and feel guilty that people are limited in their restaurant selections when going out with me. In an attempt to break out of this habit, I will try at least one new food item every other month…once a month if the mood strikes me.
Trying new foods has actually been much easier that I thought it would be.  Once I tried the fried calamari, the shrimp, eggplant and plantains, to name a few, were no problem.  There’s something liberating about trying different foods.  Maybe it’s the ability to step outside of my comfort zone and to do something daring.  Perhaps trying new foods is just the beginning.  After this, I might feel more comfortable with trying different hobbies or activities that I would normally shy away from.  

10.  Lastly, in recent years I’ve learned that I cannot be everything to everyone, but year after year I still try to make family, friends, students, and colleagues happy sometimes at my own expense: monetarily, physically and emotionally.  To use an analogy, I love filling up their glasses of water, but I have to make sure my pitcher of water remains filled too in 2011.
I’m steadily improving in this area and have found that the more I say “no” or “I’ll think about it” so that I am not overwhelmed, the easier it becomes.  I still have to get over the guilt issues, but I’m happy with my progress..

I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

All the best,

Tanya

We’re two-thirds of the way through in the new year.  Are you still on track with the things you had planned for the new year?  Please feel free to share.

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He’s More Than Just A “Baby Daddy” Ten Songs Representing Different Fathers

19 Jun

Unfortunately, Father’s Day cannot hold a candle to Mother’s Day!  Father’s Day is comparable to the boy scouts trying to compete with the girl scout cookies by selling tubs of over-priced popcorn. (Side note: I purchased a small tub of popcorn to support the boy scouts for $10, and when I asked the troop leader why the prices were so high, he remarked, “The girl scouts have monopolized cookies and we don’t have a choice but to sell our goods for much higher prices just to make a small profit.)  Whenever I take my mother out for mother’s day, I must book my reservation months in advance and still endure that standing room only crowd at the restaurant’s mother’s day brunch.  Conversely, reservations are not always a necessity.  On one particular father’s day, my fiance, his siblings and I took his father out, and I repeatedly stressed the importance to him about making a reservation well in advance to ensure that we would not have a long wait.  Upon arriving at that restaurant, I was surprised to see so many empty tables and booths.  I thought, “Where are all of the fathers and their families?”

On Mother’s Day, I compiled a list of R & B and rap songs celebrating moms, so it’s only right to put together a list of songs celebrating dads.  There’s only one problem though; most R & B and rap songs I located don’t necessarily celebrate dad but acknowledge his absence and unwillingness to be a father.  Of course, not all dads are “dead beats” who don’t provide for their children.  There are many who are wonderful role models who even become father figures to those children and even adults who are fatherless.  Please be sure to praise your fathers, grandfathers, great grandfathers, father-in-laws, uncles, nephews cousins, best friends, etc. who are exceptional fathers.  Musicians do excellent jobs producing songs that reflect societal and familial issues, and this list of memorable songs representing the plight, journey and love of a father does just that:

  1. Father & SonThe Loving Father: “Dance With My Father” by Luther Vandross: “When I and my mother would disagree, to get my way I would run from her to him. He’d make me laugh just to comfort me, yeah yeah. Then finally make me do just what my momma said.”
  2. The Unconditional Love Father: “Daddy” by Beyonce: “Even if my man broke my heart today, no matter how much pain I’m in I will be okay cause I got a man in my life that can’t be replaced. For this love is unconditional it won’t go away.”Father & Son
  3. The Wise Father: “Joy” by Talib Kweli featuring Mos Def: “Unless your language is relating to what they going through so busy ignoring them, you can’t see what they showing you.  And you wonder, why we called baby-daddy’s and baby-momma’s when we grow up, we can’t act like adult mothers and fathers, yo. I’m so blessed to have a boy and a girl, everyday they bring joy to my world.”
  4. The Protector Father: “Just the Two of Us” by Will Smith: “From the first time the doctor placed you in my arms I knew I’d meet death before I’d let you meet harm.  Although questions arose in my mind, would I be man enough?  Against wrong, choose right and be standin up.”
  5. The Grateful Father: “The Day” by Baby Face:  “It was like falling deep in love.  I heard the angels cry above.  I felt a blessing straight from God the day that you gave me a son.” 
  6. The Admirable Father: “Your Joy” by Chrisette Michele: “No one loves me just like you do.  No one knows me just like you do.  No one can compare to the way my eyes fit in yours.  You’ll always be my father.  And I’ll always be your joy.”
  7. Father & DaughterThe Stand-Up Father: “Be a Father to Your Child” by Ed. O.G. & Da the Bulldogs: “Be a father; if not why bother son.  A boy can make ’em but a man can raise one.”
  8. The Cycle Repeater Father: “All for You” by Little Brother:  “So the next time it’s late at night and I’m laid up with the woman I’ma make my wife talking ’bout how we ‘gon make a life, I’m thinking about child support, alimony, visitation rights. Cause that’s the only outcome if you can’t make it right. Pissed off with your children feeling the same pain. So, Pop, how could I blame cause you couldn’t maintain. I did the same thing…The same thing.” 
  9. The Denying Paternity Father: “Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson:   “Billie Jean is not my lover. She’s just a girl who claims that I am the one.  But the kid is not my son.  She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son.”
  10. The No Good Father: “Papa Was a Rolling Stone” by The Temptations:  “Hey Mama, is it true what they say, that Papa never worked a day in his life?  And Mama, bad talk going around town saying that Papa had three outside children and another wife.  And that ain’t right.

What type of father are you, or what type of father do you have?  To all of the positive fathers, Happy Father’s Day to you.  Please enjoy this R & B and rap father’s day playlist, and feel free to share your favorite song representing fathers with me.

All the best,

Anonomz aka Tanya Harris


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Mission Accomplished! Acting on my dreams…

14 May

“You should be an actor!” is what family, friends and even some of my students tell me.  I used to act when I was younger and loved being on stage, so I have been exploring my theatrical abilities by taking a college level acting class during the spring 2011 semester. Considering that I am an English professor at the college where I was taking the course, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Interestingly, it was a great experience!

Signing up for an acting class was one of the best decisions I’ve made in a while.  I’ve learned so much and have truly enjoyed every moment.  I’ve performed a monologue from “One Monkey Don’t Stop No Show,” written a drama analysis on “The Cherry Orchard,” performed a radio story, which I plan on posting as a podcast in the near future  and ended the course with the ultimate challenge for me.

My professor assigned me and my classmate a scene from John Patrick Shanley’s play, “Women of Manhattan.”  Bille, played by Lisa Claypoole, is a native New Yorker, and Rhonda Louise, played by me (Tanya Harris), is from the Deep South.  The setting is a Billie’s apartment and an evening without men. They are both “slightly” inebriated as they tackle friendship and relationship issues. I’ve never been drunk let alone had alcohol before, so this was a major undertaking for me.  My character also has no filter when in comes to how she feels, so she uses some profane language, which is absolutely out of character for me.  I had a lot of fun with this role and am saddened that the semester has ended.  Nevertheless, I am looking forward to taking a future acting classes and developing my skills.  There’s something invigorating about acting and being on the stage; time to set a new goal!  I wonder what it should be?  Got any ideas?


Please check out my scene performance on Youtube.  Keep in mind that my scene partner and I are both novices, so please be gentle with us yet provide constructive criticism.  Thanks

Best regards,

Tanya  aka Anonomz

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“Momma Said Knock You Out:” Ten Songs Celebrating Moms

7 May

Every so often, a musician decides to write a song celebrating his or her mom, and I would like to provide a top ten list of my favorite “mom” inspired rap and R & B songs to acknowledge my mother, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, aunts, cousins, friends and any mothers with whom I have come in contact.  Here’s a playlist just for you!

  1. “Dear Mama (You Are Appreciated)” by Tupac Shakur: “There are no words that can express how I feel.  You never kept a secret, always stayed real.  And I appreciate, how you raised me. And all the extra love that you gave me.”
  2. “All That I Got is You” by Ghostface Killah: “All that I got is you, and I’m so thankful I made it through.”
  3. “A Song for Mama” by Boyz II Men: “Mama, Mama you know I love you.  Mama, Mama you’re the queen of my heart. Your love is like tears from the stars.  Mama I just want you to know lovin’ you is like food to my soul.  Yes it is, yes it is, oh, yes it is, yes it is, yes it is oh”
  4. “Super Hero” by Raheem DeVaughn: “Some think that super heroes climb buildings and fly through the sky.  Well I beg to differ.  Mama you’re the reason why.  Some may think a role model strikes a home run or a touch dow, but mama’s always been a soldier back then and right now.”
  5. “This Woman’s Work” by Maxwell:  Pray God you can cope. I stand outside this woman’s work, This woman’s world. Ooh, it’s hard on the man,  Now his part is over.  Now starts the craft of the father.
  6. “Momma Loves Me” by Jay Z: “Momma loved me, pop left me. Grandma dressed me, plus she fed me banana puddin, what’s in the hood then.”
  7. “Hey Mama” by Kanye West: “(Hey Mama), I wanna scream so loud for you, cuz I’m so proud of you. Let me tell you what I’m about to do, (Hey Mama). I know I act a fool but, I promise you I’m goin back to school. I appreciate what you allowed for me. I just want you to be proud of me (Hey Mama).
  8. “Momma Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J:  “I’m gonna knock you out (HUUUH!!!)
    Mama said knock you out (HUUUH!!!)”
  9. “I Love My Momma” by Snoop Dogg:   “The first one to hold me. The first one to scold me. You never cease to teach me. And always try to reach me. Took me to school the first day. Taught me how to kneel, down and pray. You learned me how to count from one to ten. And never forget, where I’ve been Momma..
  10. “Sweet Sadie” by R. Kelly:  I Love you mama. I just can’t forget how you gave me love oh no If there’s a Heaven up above I know she’s teaching angels how to love. It’s a mean world
    Without ya.  And I surely miss you much mother. And now that your gone I’m gonna carry on

Happy mother’s day to you.  Please enjoy this R & B and rap mother’s day playlist, and feel free to share your favorite song celebrating mothers with me.

All the best,

Anonomz aka Tanya Harris


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Ten Things I’ve Got Planned for 2011: One-Third of the way through (January – April)

3 Apr

Tanya Harris' Vision Board1. Rome was not built in a day, and neither was the ideal body.  Therefore, I will keep working out four to five days a week to be nicely toned for the summer of 2011. I’ve been working out four to five times a week using EA Sports Active which can really give an intense workout and Wii Fit Plus for the yoga components.  I’m also using the “Perfect Sit-up”  to continue tightening up those abs.  Now that the weather is breaking, I’ll be going for more walks and jogs outside.

2. My intellectual, spiritual and creative journey is essential for my well-being, and I will be sure to submit a blog entry at least once a week.  Stop by when you can to check out my new entries. I am happy to report that I have surpassed my goal of publishing one entry per week.  This is my 38th blog submission, and I am shooting for at least 100 entries by the end of the year.

3. I have many gifts, and writing poetry is one of them, so I will relentlessly assert myself to become synonymous with the spoken word and poetry slam circuit.  Who knows, I may complete enough poems to publish a chapbook or have some choice entries in major publications.  It’s been a busy semester and a snowy winter, so I haven’t been able to attend as many spoken word events as I would like, but I am steadily writing and will be a judge for the college’s annual spoken word contest.  Also, I have uploaded some of my spoken word performances on You Tube.  You can find me under Anonomz.

4. People often say, “It’s a small world,” but many of us have yet to leave our own neighborhood, city, or state, let alone the country or continent for that matter.  I plan to travel more extensively this year and hope to visit outside of the country…perhaps for a destination wedding. It is with great pleasure that I am able to say this goal will be met in August when I will be getting married in the Dominican Republic.

5. Everybody is busier than ever and cannot spare a moment for family and friends even though vast amounts of technology are supposed to help people get more done and have more time,.  I will make a more conscious effort to reach out to family and friends and demonstrate my appreciation and love for them the” Old fashioned” way: the occasional phone call, letters, visits and tokens of my appreciation. Even though I have been making an effort to reach out to more family and friends, I may need to work harder.  Sadly, my reaching out has not been reciprocated at the level I hoped it would have been by now.  But I have to keep in mind that many people are busy with their own lives.  My hope is that too much time doesn’t go by before I am able to reconnect with family and friends who are near and dear to me.

6. I love writing and refuse to die with my many stories being left untold; as a result, I will begin working on and brainstorming about  other literary ventures such as colorful stories and children’s book ideas and see where it takes me…maybe to the best seller’s list one day! As a result of taking and acting class and teaching Children’s Literature this semester, so many wonderful ideas have entered my mind, and I’ve been discussing them with my writing buddy as well as my family and friends.  I am hoping to be able to start the writing process when I get more free time in the summer.

7. Health is necessary for longevity.  To continue  improving my financial, physical and spiritual health, I will conduct research and keep working on the economical game plan, exercise regularly and meditate , and read and apply spiritual and motivational literature on a frequent basis. Maintaining one’s health in all aspects can be quite an arduous task.  It’s so easy to lose focus, especially when daily life routines are overwhelming or seem to be never-ending.  I have been, however, writing daily in my gratitude journal for my spiritual health, eating relatively healthy foods, being mindful of my spending habits by following a tight budget and just simply focusing on the positive instead of the negative.

8. “You should be an actor!” is what family, friends and even my students tell me.  I used to act when I was younger and loved being on stage, so I will explore my theatrical abilities by taking a college level acting class in the spring 2011 semester staring January 10.  It’s going to be interesting potentially being in class with some of my own students, but it will be fun I’m sure. Signing up for an acting class was one of the best decisions I’ve made in a while.  I’m learning so much and really enjoying every moment.  So far, I’ve performed a monologue from “One Monkey Don’t Stop No Show” and written a drama analysis on “The Cherry Orchard,”  and I received A’s on both of them.    I truly am looking forward to the remaining projects and am looking forward to possibly taking a future acting course.

9. As a person who  has finicky eating habits, family and friends jokingly say, “A fancy restaurant for her is a place that serves pizza, chicken or turkey burgers.”  I enjoy fine dining and feel guilty that people are limited in their restaurant selections when going out with me. In an attempt to break out of this habit, I will try at least one new food item every other month…once a month if the mood strikes me. Trying new foods has been difficult for my, but it is with great pleasure that I report that I am on target with my goal of one new food every other month.  So far, I’ve tried a pesto pasta which was not too far out of my comfort zone in January.  Then I tried something that would be extreme for anyone, fried calamari; I must say, it was better than I expected.  I actually had three in February.  In March, I had some shrimp pasta, and it was not bad either.  Who knows, maybe I’ll be able to try one food a month instead of every other month!

10.  Lastly, in recent years I’ve learned that I cannot be everything to everyone, but year after year I still try to make family, friends, students, and colleagues happy sometimes at my own expense: monetarily, physically and emotionally.  To use an analogy, I love filling up their glasses of water, but I have to make sure my pitcher of water remains filled too in 2011.  This one has been tougher than I expected because I love helping and doing for other people, but I’ve been getting much better at saying no or letting a person know what I am capable of doing so that I am not overwhelmed and able to be revitalized before being totally drained.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

All the best,

Tanya

We’re one-third of the way through in the new year.  Are you still on track with the things you had planned for the new year?  Please feel free to share.

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Ten Things I Accomplished in 2010

30 Dec

Oftentimes people establish New Year’s resolutions for the upcoming year but don’t take the time to reflect on what New Year’s resolutions they accomplished from the present year.  What did you set out to do in 2010? Did you accomplish your goals?

Tanya Harris aka Anonomz1. Consistently did Pilates and other aerobic exercises for at least three to five days a week for the entire year.  Got the flat abs down…just need a little more definition

2. It’s more than maintaining a healthy weight.  Having healthy eating habits is just as important: at least four servings of fruit and vegetables and tons of water 90 percent of the year.  Despite the backsliding around the major holidays, I’ve been doing really well with selecting healthy alternatives.

3. Refrained from watching television during the week days throughout the duration of the fall semester (August – December) in an effort to get more accomplished and it worked…it really worked!

4. Completed twenty-five poems and still counting…not to mention the handful of short stories.  Regularly entered poetry open mic nights and slams and came in first place three out of four slams.  Let’s see if I can make it to the National Slam in 2011 and submit some of the poems for publication. (Check some of them out on You Tube under Anonomz)

5. Began practicing meditation, which is far more difficult than I expected, and becoming more spiritually grounded through exploration and writing in my gratitude journal faithfully….I’m on my fourth composition book.

6. Vacationed in California for the first time: one of the many places on my push pin map of “Places I Must Visit”

7. Made it past the probationary period as a tenure track faculty member and came up with a fabulous tenure track project…just two years to go until I’m tenured!

8. Created a blog in December as part of my writing journey and effort to find me: ready for the lifelong journey.

9. Finally got engaged to the man I respect, adore and love: Hopeful that the marriage will be an accomplishment for 2011

10. Experienced an overall happy existence, surrounded by family, friends, students and colleagues.  Absolutely grateful to see and feel how much God has blessed me.  Looking forward to more in 2011.

Best wishes in the new year,

Tanya

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Embarking on a Journey!!

21 Dec

Tanya HarrisHave you ever wondered why you are who “you are” or if you are doing what you “should” be doing with your life.  This is a pondering I have all too often.  I truly believe one of the best ways to address these questions is to utilize the gifts God has blessed me with in search for the answers.  I’ve always enjoyed writing poetry, short stories, teaching, acting, rapping, designing, basically anything that has to do with the creative arts.  This blog will be a forum for my many philosophical and spiritual musings and creative aspirations.

Please feel free to join me as I embark on this journey down the yellow brick road  to see the wizard as I know it will take multiple intelligences, a gracious heart and relentless courage.

Best regards,

Tanya Harris aka Anonomz

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It’s a Wonderful Life…Isn’t It?

21 Dec

Tanya HarrisLast week, I finally watched the movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life” in its entirety, and it really got me thinking about my life and the impact I have made thus far.  If only “my guardian angel” would whisk me away and let me see what other peoples’ lives would be like if I were never born. Often, I contemplate about how productive my life is and if I am truly making a difference…regardless of how small or large it may be.  An adage that resonates with my spirit proclaims, “Leave this world better than you found it.”  After watching the movie, I sat pensively pondering, “Am I in alignment with this statement?”  This is one of my philosophical and spiritual musings that will sadly not result in a definitive answer, but it did get me thinking about all of the wonderful people in my life who may not even know how they have influenced me.

So, I thought, why not spend a little time creating a brief list of acknowledgement.  Unfortunately, I am fully aware that there are just too many people to name without potentially leaving someone out resulting in a negative impression.  Of course, my family, dear friends, former teachers, students and colleagues have played major roles in helping me become the woman that I am today, but sometimes those people who may appear to cause harm also play key roles into giving me the wonderful life I have today.  Here are three people out of many who have influence my life:

Names have been changed to cartoon characters  for fun to protect the innocent or not so innocent for that matter*

Linus: At a former place of employment, this man caused me insurmountable grief.  Even though I was a hard worker, he referred to me as “an exception to the rule” because he believes (I hope he’s since had a change of heart and that it is now “believed”) that most Black people are lazy, and women are incompetent and should not be in positions of authority.  What’s so wonderful about this man?  Actually, he served a few purposes.  Firstly, he opened up my eyes making me aware that racism and sexism do still exist and that I mustn’t lose sight of this and take a stand when necessary.  Also, he forced me to become a risk taker and to test my faith of believing I can do all things with God on my side by leaving my position.  Thanks to his disdain for me,  I am where I am today!

Pooh: My first boyfriend was slicker than a sheet of ice during the blizzard of ’96, but I was in love and thought he could do no wrong.  He had his good qualities, but he took advantage of my pleaser tendencies and attempted to manipulate me in a multitude of ways.  It broke my heart when I found out he was getting extra cozy with girls from the job (I helped him get) and eventually got a girl pregnant.  Yes, he’s Mr. Wonderful too, and I do not say this sarcastically.  Never did I hold future suitors accountable for his transgressions, but he did help me to realize what I did want and did not want in a relationship and how both people must have the same goal.  Partly because of him, I have an even greater appreciation for the love I’ve found.

Grinch: This man, more times than not, made me feel like I wasn’t good enough and only acknowledged me in childhood and adulthood when it was convenient for him. Even though I do have a handful of good memories involving him,  most of them make me wonder how I was still able to become the person who I am today.  It’s amazing how life works!  As a result of biding for his affection, I worked even harder in school and in my work life hoping to hear the phrase uttered, “That’s my daughter” coupled with “I’m so proud of you” without hesitation of who may hear it said.  Why on earth is he so wonderful?  Well, of course, my mother’s role in my life would undoubtedly eclipse his.  However, without him, I do not think I would have as many accomplishments in hoping that it would be enough to make him happy with me.

On the surface, these examples may seem depressing and not worthy of posting.  Nevertheless, if I am able to get beyond the negativity and people who could have potentially made my life miserable, then why not share it with others.  Do you have a person or story of how someone impacted your life and made it what it is today?  Maybe it was me…Please feel free to share it.
Best regards,

Tanya Harris aka Anonomz

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