“Cause they don’t smile
Or smell like you
No they don’t make me laugh
Or even cook like you
And they don’t photograph
Nah, they don’t sex like you
Let’s face it, I can’t replace it
That’s why all I want is you now….”
—“All I Want is You” by Miguel featuring J. Cole
Love is so abstract yet extremely powerful, and it actually all starts in the mind, not the heart. For the past few months, I’ve been reading a book entitled, “Making a Good Brain Great,” by Daniel G. Amen, M.D., and there is a chapter that addresses how the brain works when it comes to relationships. Initially, the sex hormones lure people in to one another, but then there is this intense attraction causing one’s brain to release adrenaline, dopamine (which is like a high from cocaine) and serotonin. Oftentimes, this stage does not persist with the same level of intensity as the relationship progresses which partly explains why the passion in some relationships does not last or why one (sometimes both) of the people seek out a new partner in hopes of getting back that intense high again. So what is it that keeps couples not just together but together happily? Oxytocin, known as the cuddle hormone, and Vasopressin are the hormones that assist with this life-long attachment.
Even though in Miguel’s song featuring J.Cole, “All I Want Is You,” the issue is that the woman he loves has chosen to leave him, not only does the heart want what it wants, but so does the brain. No other woman can satisfy him like she can, and he cannot stop thinking about her. Are you presently experiencing a high level of “love” hormones making you passionate about the one you are with? It’s such a wonderful feeling to not only be in love but to feel the high that comes with being in love. Also, according to Dr. Amen, having new experiences together and keeping the passion going is not only healthy for the relationship but for the brain as well. People are more likely to improve their health and brain power by being in healthy and happy committed relationships with the ones they love rather than seeking out those potentially short-lived adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin highs with one night affairs or flings. The song may be entitled, “All I Want is You,” but the love, passion and gratification that one can receive from being in a long-term committed relationship is a necessity to me. How about you?
Please feel free to share your thoughts
~Anonomz aka Tanya Harris
Bonus English Lesson:
Miguel utilizes imagery through the five senses and juxtaposes his woman to all other possible love interests to demonstrate how much he loves and wants her in his life and how she has him completely consumed.
Sense of sight and smell: “They don’t smile or smell like you”
Sense of hearing and tasting: “No they don’t make me laugh or even cook like you”
Sense of sight: “And they don’t photograph”
Sense of touch, sight, smell, hearing, taste: “Nah, they don’t sex like you”